...a baby changes your life forever and we'd get over it.
My husband and I recently had our first baby. We were so excited throughout the pregnancy and my husband kept talking about all the things we were going to do as a family... but things didn't turn out the way we thought.
I was so tired all the time and my husband was not being a support – he seemed detached and so unhappy. This little baby was supposed to be the most wonderful little addition to our home and although I loved her so much, I was so unhappy. My husband and I argued all the time and I just didn't feel like he wanted to be part of "us" anymore.
I tried to talk to my friends and my mum – but they just told me it was normal, a baby changes your life forever and we'd get over it.
I was at my wits end and decided to talk to someone who was impartial. I came to realise that my husband was feeling overwhelmed. Our little girl was a constant reminder of the massive commitment we had made together and he was feeling inadequate and wondering if he was "enough" for her and me. He was also feeling a little bit left out – I was so tired and focused on our baby and he was taking that to mean I didn't need him anymore.
When he got home that night we sat down and talked. I explained to him how I was feeling overwhelmed too and I needed him to help me and together we could learn how to "be this new little family". We're now both tired, but in a good way! We're learning together and taking each day to enjoy being parents to this beautiful little girl.